


The Most Dangerous Book In The Library

by Runner5



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Gen, Zombies, Zombies Write!, zombies run game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-30 00:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1011634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runner5/pseuds/Runner5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mentally unstable person in Abel Township checks out the ever popular Anarchist Cookbook and tries to cook up an anti-zombie bomb threatening to derail Spam Taco Night in the township.  Jack and Eugene question the morality of censoring of the book but Janine has her own plans for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Most Dangerous Book In The Library

Title: The Most Dangerous Book In the Library  
Author: Me. 7Hunters, 7hunters.com  
Fandom: (This is the source of the original work):  
Zombies Run! By Six Apart and Naomi Alderman  
Rating: PG i.e. a little boring, sorry!  
Pairing: Eugene / Jack / Janine - others  
Disclaimer: please don’t sue me…I don’t do well in jail and I have no money. Void where prohibited.  
My Prompt: Abel Township's most checked-out library book is...

My Prompt Person: EmmaSue http://es.livejournal.com/

In Abel Township’s Communication Control Room Radio Booth, A very small space…

EUGENE: “So Jack, time for announcements what do you have for us today?”

JACK: “Well Eugene, there has been another small outbreak of Dysentery and we would like to remind everyone to drink from approved water sources! For those of you waiting to use the loo, there will be wait times, well that happens to all of us once in awhile doesn’t it?”

EUGENE: “Certainly Jack and we can’t stress enough how important hygiene is in camp.”

JANINE: “You boys should definitely consider hygiene in your control room” Janine ducks inside brushing against papers and cabinets in the cramped space 

JACK: “Janine we can’t all three fit in here, Eugene scoot over to the left a bit, thanks.”

JANINE: “I’m only here to remind you both that tonight is Taco night., I think our listeners would like to know.”

EUGENE: “Okay Jack you want to announce that?”

JACK: “Sure, as you know Runner 5 brought back an outstanding number of tins of Spam, picante sauce, and those tortillas that never go bad. To celebrate tonight is - drum roll please - Taco Night! “

EUGENE: “That’s right Jack, get them while they’re hot, and if you’re one of the unfortunate souls with dysentery…”

JACK: “Yeah….sorry about that. You should probably try the gruel.” 

EUGENE: “I’m hungry just thinking about them. Wish we had cheese – remember cheese Jack – lovely orange melted cheese…”

JACK: “So listeners we have a request from the Abel Township library shelf. Although books like Stephen King’s, ‘The Stand’ , are ever popular one book in particular keeps being spirited away and not returned promptly.”

EUGENE: “Yes, and it’s really vital we get the book back before someone gets hurt. This is very serious listeners.”

JACK: “More serious then Spam tacos?” 

EUGENE: “Most definitely, this book is called, ‘The Anarchist Cookbook’ and was created as an anti-war book back in the late 60’s from the USA. Abel Township has an original un-edited copy.”

JACK: “So if it’s an anti-war book then what’s the big deal? Hey do you hear gun fire?”

EUGENE: “Yeah that’s covering fire alright, but we don’t have runners out right now do we?” 

JACK: “Listeners, if you’re worried about the gun fire we have had no reports and we have no runners out. It’s probably parameter protection. If we have an update we’ll pass it along to you.”

EUGENE: “Lets Play a song for our listeners and we’ll come right back and I’ll explain more about the Anarchist Cookbook.”

MUSIC PLAYS – INSERT COOL SONG HERE  
I'm waking up to ash and dust  
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust  
I'm breathing in the chemicals  
(inhale) (exhale)  
I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus  
This is it, the apocalypse  
Whoa  
I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones  
Enough to make my systems blow  
Welcome to the new age, to the new age  
Welcome to the new age, to the new age  
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive

Imagine Dragons: Song - Radioactive 

JACK: “ I love that song don’t you Eugene? So listeners we’re trying to get back a book called – what was it again?”

EUGENE: “The Anarchist Cookbook”

JACK: “Yes, and it’s really important listeners and Eugene was going to tell us why it’s so dangerous.”

EUGENE: “The United States was drafting soldiers to go to Vietnam in the 60’s and there was a large peace movement many of whom thought violence was the acceptable answer, and the only way to bring about peace. The Anarchist Cookbook is a collage of bomb recipes and suggestions for weapon use.”

JACK: “So it’s like the best guide to have if it’s the end of the world or a zombie filled apocalypse?” 

EUGENE: “Yeah, exactly. The guide shows a number of bombs and this is where it gets tricky. Although we don’t have most of the chemicals required, someone who did get ahold of similar items and followed the directions to the letter would probably end up missing a hand, an arm or ….well blown up.” 

JACK: “Whew, so Eugene people think they’re going to be defending against zombies when in reality…

EUGENE: “they blow themselves up. Yes. Exactly. 

JACK: “But I thought people were checking these sorts of materials out for a lark.”

EUGENE: “Janine has reason to think people are beginning to take it far too seriously.”

JACK: “Why don’t we listen to this song and come back and learn more”

EUGENE: “Lets, this is one of Runner 5’s favorites to run to – just try and not move to this one! ”

MUSIC PLAYS – INSERT COOL SONG HERE

Elephant by Tame Impala

Well, he feels like an elephant  
Shaking his big grey trunk for the hell of it  
He knows that you're dreaming about being over him

Too bad your chances are slim

And it's not like mister shook to get shy when they ask him who is under  
There must be something deep down in the middle down there

He's not too easily scared

He's got friends but they have fear  
Who don't care too much if he just disappeared  
Oh, look there he is now coming down the stairs

Here it comes

He pulled the mirrors off his Cadillac  
'Cause he doesn't like it looking like he looks back  
He talks like his opinion is a simple fact

Somebody grabbed his collar  
He cried the whole way home  
He won't remember a thing 'til they start again

That's how it is 'til the end  
Yeah

 

JACK: “Radio listeners we are back! We are talking today about the most requested and read book in Abel Township, The Anarchists Cookbook, and warning our listeners that the recipes and techniques in the guide are truly unsafe.”

EUGENE: “Not to mention too time consuming to put together against zombs.”

JACK: “According to urban legend our old original copy it may contain additional information. Information such as swapping gun parts, what guns are compatible with each other…”

EUGENE: “But wouldn’t that information be outdated?”

JACK: “Likely, I’m more of a person of words then guns. If eBay still existed we could auction the book for a few pounds I would imagine! (Eugene grimaces) What – tell me you didn’t think that too.” 

JANINE: “Guys” (hands them a slip of paper) “We had an incursion of zombies attacking the control tower earlier today. Covering fire dispatched them and we’re working on repairing the damage but it seems to have ensighted someone to try their home made incendiaries in a misguided heroic effort to protect Abel Township.”

JACK: “Oh, no, this is not good.”

EUGENE: “Man with book, we have your note right here about a bomb you plan to deploy – and we want to assure you this will NOT stop the zombies from coming back. Your idea that it will drive them off permanently is well….um…misguided. I want to stress to you that these bombs are UNSTABLE and ask that you give yourself up.”

JANINE: “Let me talk Jack, (squishes further into the control room) I can promise you that you will not be prosecuted or harmed in any way. We just want to talk with you and get you help. This will not stop the zombies! This is crazy and endangers everyone!”

EUGENE: “Thanks Janine we can take it from here.”

JACK: “Seriously, a lot of us truly have been relishing the thought of a SPAM tacos for tonight’s supper and not getting blown up. Just turn yourself in or let us know you’ve disarmed whatever you’ve managed to build.”

EUGENE: “That says Bomb right? It’s kinda smudged. “ 

OFF MIC: “Poor bastard has lost his or her mind. This note is almost unreadable, I think I make out the words, ‘pay back’, ‘lost’, ‘revenge’ and ‘everyone dies.’ Not good.”

EXPLOSION

JACK: “Oh my God. Listeners stay tuned we need to duck outside” 

several minutes later

EUGENE: “Those of you with diarrhea or as we used to call it, ‘the trots’ we have bad news. The west end privy is no more. Apparently an explosive detonated inside taking down the thin walls and reducing it to rubble.” 

JACK: “One man was hurt with a minor wound to his hand and he’s now in custody. Janine and the Major are working out what happened.”

EUGENE: “Have they found the book?”

JACK: “Listeners – if you know where this book is please return it immediately. We need to get such a dangerous manual out of the hands of anyone and everyone.”

EUGENE: “I feel bad for the bomber Jack, in these insane times people sometimes are unpredictable and unstable.”

JACK: “Too true and many have seen horrific deaths of their loved ones by zombies or have been chased by loved ones that are now zombies and been forced to defend themselves – violently.”

EUGENE: “It’s no wonder someone would go off their rock, I think we’re all a little half crazy in camp sometimes.”

JACK: “But it’s the little things that get us by”, looks meaningfully at Eugene 

EUGENE: “It sure is Jack, like Taco Night. I hope this doesn’t spoil the celebration.”

JACK: “The Anarchist Cookbook was a cry against authoritarian governments that garnered too much control over the common citizen, do we have the right to censor this book even if it’s apparently for the common good? What about transparency and freedom? Should we even seek the return of the book even if it can cause harm?

JANINE STICKS HER HEAD IN: “Fellows, we now have the book returned.” 

JACK: “What are you going to do with it?

JANINE: “Burn it tonight at the party in the fire pit.”

EUGENE: “Well listeners – if you’re in Abel Township it’s time to head over to Janine’s house for the start of Taco Night. We’ll leave some music on for you.”

JACK: Goodnight Abel Township! 

MUSIC PLAYS

Viva La Vida – Coldplay  
I used to rule the world  
Seas would rise when I gave the word  
Now in the morning I sweep alone  
Sweep the streets I used to own  
I used to roll the dice  
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes  
Listen as the crowd would sing  
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"  
One minute I held the key  
Next the walls were closed on me  
And I discovered that my castles stand  
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand  
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing  
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing  
Be my mirror, my sword and shield  
My missionaries in a foreign field  
For some reason I can't explain  
Once you go there was never  
Never an honest word  
And that was when I ruled the world  
It was the wicked and wild wind  
Blew down the doors to let me in  
Shattered windows and the sound of drums  
People couldn't believe what I'd become  
Revolutionaries wait  
For my head on a silver plate  
Just a puppet on a lonely string  
Oh who would ever want to be king?  
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing  
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing  
Be my mirror, my sword and shield  
My missionaries in a foreign field  
For some reason I can't explain  
I know Saint Peter won't call my name  
Never an honest word  
But that was when I ruled the world  
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing  
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing  
Be my mirror, my sword and shield  
My missionaries in a foreign field  
Woahahahah. woah ohhhhh woah ohhh oh,  
For some reason I can't explain  
I know Saint Peter won't call my name  
Never an honest word  
But that was when I ruled the world  
ooooooh ooh oooooh oh ooooooh oh oooooh oh.

THE END

Authors Notes:  
Songs are from my playlist when I run missions.  
I took the photos the other day for this story :D  
This is the first fanfic I’ve ever written  
I do write a blog about my own adventures as Runner 5  
http://survivalpostcivilization.blogspot.com/  
Paula Shackles, age 38, Location Hammond Oregon Pacific Northwest Sea Coast USA  
Words: 2071


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